Some Things About “Are You the Cool Kids?”

After an expectedly lukewarm reception of our first album, I haven’t advertised Trial of the Golden Witch releases very much. After all, we aren’t playing pop music by any stretch, and the recording quality is less than good. I also don’t feel that we’re putting so much effort into our music that it begs for recognition. Nevertheless, *I* really enjoy our music. We all do, but I actually listen to it regularly. I don’t want to push our releases on anyone, but I do want to talk about them. There’s just no one to talk about them with since no one’s listening to them. The obvious solution: talk to myself (in public).

Despite the fact that we’ve put out ninety or so songs in the past three months, Are You the Cool Kids? is only our second full-length LP (not counting the cover album “Vague Covers”), and by far our longest release at 52 minutes. That makes it the hardest album to listen to yet, not only being particularly long, but particularly experimental and esoteric, without the catchy pop riffs of some of our earlier releases. Still, I think that musically it’s my favorite of our releases. 

To date, Trial of the Golden Witch hasn’t fully written any songs. All of our music has been improvised, though some of the riffs used were at least thought up by the guitarists some time before their recording. Only a handful of songs have had multiple takes done, and most of the time we don’t even listen to them back because the guitarists are just like that. We have, however, gotten better and better at improvisation, with our two guitarists synchronizing ever better as they play together a lot. I still really enjoy the “live” sound that we make, though I do wish there were fewer mistakes in the playing. 

Are You the Cool Kids? is all improv with the exception of the vocals on the Intro song. When I first released the album, there were no vocals, but they were added later. I think this was a great decision, partly because the vocals mask some of the mistakes made in the song, and because it’s a more lively way to start the album. It has the strongest vocal presence on the album, as it’s the only song with clean vocals (this isn’t counting the spoken-word songs).

NO QUIPS is my choice as the “single” from the album. Aside from sounding unpracticed and having some mistakes, it actually sounds like there was some planning involved in the way the song builds towards a big climax. I think I utilized the functions of my I Am T-Pain microphone to the fullest here.

Knife Gangbang might be my favorite track, as a trippy instrumental piece that guitarist George came up with. The whole album was recorded on the day after Christmas, for which George had received a new amp, and a lot of the songs (this one in particular) were driven by his experimentation with the amp settings. Interestingly, the title of the song comes from a very intense narration that I was giving from under the bed (the computer was on top of it), which is almost entirely inaudible in the track. I like that this song feels minimalist, yet like a lot is happening. 

I like This Always Happens primarily for how it leads into Billy Maes. This Always Happens is short and instrumental and stops and starts a couple of times. Because of this, it can be difficult to detect the moment when it transitions into Billy Maes, especially because the riff at the start of Billy Maes is similar to the one that ends This Always Happens. 

My favorite moment on the album is when the Billy Maes monologue begins, suddenly cutting out from the long period of off-vocal instrumentation along with a heavy guitar riff. The Billy Maes monologue is bloody hilarious, too. 

Things to be Known About Time and Space didn’t come out quite how I’d like, since I think the monologue is a little annoying without being able to understand what I’m saying. The style was inspired by having listened to early Butthole Surfers and then realizing that I could create a similar effect with my I Am T-Pain mic.

Promiscuous Street is nice, especially because of its sassy bassline. I think with some drums and stuff, this could be a “real” song. 

It’s Canon is a silly song, done because one of the guitarists wanted to make a “four chords” song. The chorus goes, “one, two, three, four, it’s four chords! Pa-cha-bel-a, it’s canon!” which is dementedly catchy even through the annoyingly high-pitched T-Pain mic wailing. I don’t care for the song, but George likes it.

Big Ass Pyramid is my least favorite track on the album, and I’m thinking about removing it. It came about when George was experimenting with an amp setting that sounded vaguely Egyptian, and I started talking about the band Nile. George said I should record myself explaining it, so I did. However, I find the meandering song and explanation boring and don’t care to keep listening to them. The song might be gone already when you read this.

Long Tucked In is a decent song that doesn’t particularly stand out, and I think was weakened by coming after Big Ass Pyramid, so hopefully it’ll do better with that song removed.

Put the Cookie Down! is just silly and retarded fun. 

World Falls is one of my favorites on the album, sounding almost post-metal-y (would need drums to really sound like that, though). I would very much like to make a video for this song. 

I’m Gonna Be A Fat Fuck And Eat All These Goldfish is clearly silly and alright—I think its saving grace is the catchy titular chorus. I also made a silly video for it wherein I fulfill the title promise.

Facial Silhouette has its moments. I released the song in a way almost determined to piss myself off, by purposefully not cutting it at all, but it came out better than I expected.

Giant’s Dialog is weird. I think it somehow works coming at this place in the album, but I would’ve liked the actual dialog to come out better.

How the Fuck Are You Still Awake is quiet and nice. It’s very slow and calm, so I put it at the end of the album as a sort of outro piece. It got its title because I actually nodded off while listening to it back, having been up all night recording the album.

All in all, I like this album and think it’s rather inimitable of a moment in our career. It’s something we’ll probably never quite do again, so even though it could be improved, the way it is now is something that only it will ever be. And I enjoy it a lot.